Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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