dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
