Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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