dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
