Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
