Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
