I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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