i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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