I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
