Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
