don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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