I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
