Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
