I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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