Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
