Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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