I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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