i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
