The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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