hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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