Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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