Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize