every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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