do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
