ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
