I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
