So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
