its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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