Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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