If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
