its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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