I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
