No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
