it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
