Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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