i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
