girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
