Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
