I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
