I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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