just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
