i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize