that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
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He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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