this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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