Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
