it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
