I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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