I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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