the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize