Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
