can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
