I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
