Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
