so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
