How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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