I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
