I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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