I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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