I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize