in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
