I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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