Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
