no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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