I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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