people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have fence marks all over my body
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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