There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
